A conscious choice to address your subconscious

Have you ever put in the thought about how complex and puzzling we as human beings are? The array of emotional chemicals that float in our brains; lubricating the very neurotransmitters that cultivate our abilities to process and cultivate our every movement and reaction within this grand existence we call life. If you had asked me 5 years ago this same question I probably would have put my beer down. Waved away the cannabis cloud lingering above and tried giving you my best Bob Marley impression in hopes to sound convincing. But after years of beating up my mind, body and soul I have finally found the ability to grasp just how puzzling and incredible we really are. We carry the power in one single body to completely destroy almost everything in our path, including ourselves and those around us. Yet we have equal capabilities to heal, restore and bring balance to almost everything around us. Best part of it all is we are gifted the choice. You might disagree about that being a good thing but I believe that for the most genuine or impactful outcomes the leading source must be that of a genuine choice to do so. 


So where is this all leading? Well, in my experience of practicing both the power of destruction and the power to heal, I have come to a definite conclusion that the complexity of you and I isn’t as trivial as we are lead to believe. We are told we need doctors to prescribe our cures. Or teachers to quantify our intelligence. We are even lead to believe that we aren’t deemed fit for love. What if I told you that these are all social conditionings of a society still in its infancy? Is that all we are capable of, relying on others to fulfill our basic needs? I for one believe we are capable of so much more. More than disease or lethargy. More than quick and convenient fixes that lead to bigger problems down the road. I believe we are capable of exercising our very will to live and love with the most complexity through simple, minimal dose required exercises that lead to a far better understanding of ourselves and the life we chose to live. 


First step in this journey is education. Much more than just sitting in a class, listening to a lecture of something you probably don’t really give a shit about. I’m talking about self educating and experience. Simply applying yourself to an interest of yours you’ve been putting off. Going out and getting out of your comfort zone. We all have those little personal interests that we fear sharing with others or dreams we couldn’t possibly pursue due to fear of failure or social backlash. That’s where you want to put yourself. Right in the fire of it all. Sure you may take those baby steps over the hot coal as long as you’re experiencing life in those areas of growth, but in the heat of the flame is where you should aim to be. That’s were you will see what you’re truly made of. This applies for all aspects of self education. From a physical stand point; exercise, yoga, athletics of any sort. Or more professional or personal. Want to start that new career or join that new group? Do it, because whether you make the finish line or not there is a 110% chance you will be a better person because of that initial action. The commitment to personal development will shed back layers you didn’t even know you had and that my friend is exhilarating. 


It’s through this first step on your ‘hero’s journey’ that you begin to get to know yourself and how you subtly operate on a subconscious level. Perhaps you are like me and you are sensitive and emotionally driven. Sure it has its pros. It seemed like I was born with this intuitive mindset. Allowing me the ability to create some incredibly deep connections with people all over the world, and lead an exciting and passionate life. But it also is incredibly draining. Investing my emotions into almost everyone and everything can leave me feeling exhausted, anxious and even depressed some days, or even weeks. Making the choice to consistently learn and evolve through every situation I have faced has helped equip me with the tools to manage these very personality traits. Key word being ‘manage’, I don’t believe this journey ever ends but it makes our time here that much more enjoyable. Understanding who we are and what we believe to be our existence is a simple hack to living a fulfilling life, that will lead to so many incredible opportunities and connections. 


So I encourage you to allow yourself the space to look within and all around you. Ask yourself if this is where you believe you are destined to be? What are you truly capable of? Do you believe yourself to be a product of societal conditioning or are you a fucking amazingly complex human being? Then begin to educate yourself on what it’s like to experience life on the other side. The other side of fear, rejection of failure. Because I can assure you, from my experiences alone, but I’m sure many others will agree, that whether or not you make it to the top you will wake up tomorrow a changed person. A person with the ability to conquer their fears with momentum under their feet. That alone is a success if you ask me. With that momentum you’ve grown accustom to the flame, your comfortable with the discomfort of growth or change. You can now exercise the will to understand who you are. Mapping out how you can empower yourself with the tools to cultivate the very life you “choose” to live. Let’s hope it’s a healthy and restorative one.

Tanner Johnston 

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